Sex Education for Young Children

Although sex education is usually taught in school, parents are a child’s best source for sex education. Parents are also usually the first source of information for a child’s questions about sex. Very often, children begin to ask about sex long before parents imagine they will. It is a good idea for parents to give some thought about what they will say about sex and when, before children begin to ask questions. Parents should keep in mind that a child’s curiosity about sex is normal and healthy. Sex education: where to start? Child-friendly books about sex education can help parents decide when, and what, they are going to tell their children about sex. Books can also offer guidance for parents on how to go about talking about sex with their kids. Many books are written for children and parents to read together. This is s great way to begin an ongoing dialogue about sex with children. Dialogue about sex There are many benefits to beginning an ongoing dialogue between parents and their young children about sex. Many experts agree that this is the best strategy a parent can have when it comes to teaching their kids about sex. Parents should be honest and not overload the child with information. Parents should also keep the discussion at a level the child can understand and can begin by asking what the child already knows.
* Parents can include their family’s values in any discussion about sex. For example, during a discussion about intercourse, parents can let their kids know that sex is for marriage, if that is what they believe.
* Kids are less likely to believe incorrect information they hear if they have already heard the right information from parents.
* Many schools have inadequate time for instruction on sex and reproduction issues. By having a dialogue, parents can make sure their kids have all the information they need.
* Having an on going dialogue about sex lets parents avoid having to give a big "bird’s and the bees" talk all at once when the child is older.
* Honest dialogue between parents and kids helps promote honesty, trust and respect in general. Having this sex-ed dialogue will encourage older children to be more open with their parents about other, sometimes troubling, adolescent issues.

A child’s sexual curiosity

Most children develop a healthy sexual curiosity by age 3 or 4. They usually ask a variety of questions and need honest, brief answers. Some children may be curious but not ask about sex. If a child of 4 has not asked about sex, parents should start asking the child questions. Examples from nature and reproduction in general may help. For example, parents can spot birds chasing each other and ask the child what he thinks they are doing. Parents can then use this opportunity to explain where babies come from. Parents should teach their children the proper names for all body parts. Parents could begin by explaining reproduction using animals as an example. Then they can explain about human reproduction. At first, kids generally don’t need to know all the details but it is important that they understand the basics. As they get older and the conversations continue, more details can be added. Children should also learn about love and affection. This can be best understood by example. Let your child see warm hugs and friendly kisses between parents and other family members. Children should understand that physical affection can be expressed in many ways and is a part of sexuality. Normal sexual play It is common for children to play games of sexual exploration. Playing "doctor" or "house" might be a part in this exploration. Sexual play between children is normal and is generally not something to be worried about. If the games involve some form of coercion, for example one child making another do something they do not want to do, this can be a sign of worry. Children get their behavioural and emotional cues from the adults around them, mostly the parents. If parents react dramatically to their child’s sexual play, it can send the wrong message to the child and the activities may continue but in secret. If parents know that their child has engaged in games of this type, they should speak to them about it without judgment. Always continue the dialogue. Privacy and modesty Children usually need to be told that there is a time and place for everything.

Parents should tell their children :
* That exposing themselves in public is not acceptable
* That no adult or older child should touch their genitals
* If they want to touch their own genitals, they should do this in private
* They should never make another child do something they are uncomfortable doing

Nudity and your child

Nudity in the family home is a matter for each family to decide. Some parents cover themselves and their children up at an early age. Some parents do not. If covering up is not a routine around the house, children should understand that this is not the case for other places outside the home such as in school or in public. It is also important for parents to realize that while they may be comfortable with nudity, their child as he/she develops may not be.

Be aware of their feelings. If being nude around the house is not acceptable, as the child grows, parents should :
* Stop showering and bathing with the child
* Close the bathroom door when using the toilet and suggest that the child do the same.
* Close the bedroom door when dressing and suggest that the child do the same.

Sexual molestation Children should be told that no older person, including an older child, should touch them in the genital area. They should also understand that if someone tries to do this, they should immediately tell a parent or other caregiver right away regardless of what the person has told them. Children should have a realistic view of the society they are growing up in. Some people are kind and gentle while others are not. This information should be explained in such a way as not to alarm the child. Parents should teach basic "street smarts" to their children.

Going over different situations by asking "what would you do if…?" is a good way to start. When should you call your child's health care provider? Call your child's physician during office hours if :
* your child won't stop touching other children's genitals
* your child won't stop exposing his genitals
* your child has an excessive interest in sex or nudity
* you have other questions or concerns